Hiding in the bathroom

© Sarah Lipoff 2010

I have been doing it now for a couple of weeks. I don’t think anyone has caught on, at least not yet. I guess I am outing myself by writing this, although I don’t think my husband will read this. Here goes.

I have been hiding in the bathroom.

I am not hiding from anything really, just hanging out hiding. After spending the entire day following around a wee baby, only having conversation with people via email or check out lines and being a feeding machine, I need a bit of me time. It seems the only place I can really safely get that is in the bathroom.

You see, a man isn’t going to mess with a woman who goes into a bathroom and shuts the door. That seems to be the big signal of needing some privacy. I try to time it just right – wait until my husband has had a bit of time after getting home to chill for a moment and get re-acquainted with the little one and then I make my getaway. I head off to the bathroom, gently shut the door and take a couple deep breaths.

I have plucked my eyebrows to perfection, trimmed my bangs, cut and buffed my toenails, filed my nails, applied layers of hand cream and also seriously cleaned the bathroom. As I said, I don’t think my husband has figured it out yet – but the other night he did ask, “what are you doing in there?”

I dropped the tweezers and felt like I had been caught smoking behind the high school. I will have to be more careful and make sure I don’t get overzealous with the amount of time I spend in my oasis, my bathroom sanctuary.

With that said, I know my bathroom time is limited. The day will come when the wee baby will be walking and doors will be able to be opened. My bathroom hiding will be over and a new location will have to be discovered. Why don’t I just fess up and tell the hubby what I am up to? Because then it wouldn’t be so secretive, so special. And, he would pound on the door with baby in hand. So, until the doors can be opened or I am discovered, I will continue to look forward to my five minutes of zen each evening.

I am already looking forward to having a couple extra minutes to paint my toenails tonight – they have gotten pretty sad.