For the last couple of years the husband and I have been a bit unsure what to do during the holidays. He’s from a Jewish family, mine has fun holiday/Christmas traditions, and we have no family in the area. The tot is still a bit young – she’s not all caught up with the whole “Santa” thing yet – and my parents decided to be snow birds and head out to our part of the country just after Christmas.

What to do?

We decided to delay the big celebration until later this week. It just didn’t seem right to open gifts on Christmas and then again on post-Christmas with the grandparents along with the nightly Hanukkah candle lighting and small gift sharing (and the tot’s birthday is in the first few days of January…. Can you say gift opening craziness?!).

Instead of just sitting around on Christmas and then hitting the all-you-can-eat China Buffet for dinner, we decided to do something different.

We packed up and went to the beach.

And it was awesome.

Okay, remember awhile back when I shared how I put together this little video sharing my Turkey Tortilla Sushi recipe for a chance to be on the Cooking Channel via the Hidden Valley Ranch Ultimate Lunchbox Challenge? Well, guess what? I’m in the running! (that’s me over on the right!)

They’ve picked the final three contestants and I’m one of them!

(Yes, I’m using lots and lots of exclamation marks!)

Show me some love and head on over to check out the competition as well as revisit my recipe for Turkey Tortilla Sushi. The winner is partly determined by how many votes the video gets – so vote for me once daily until December 27th.

The winner will be announced January 9th!

(I’m so excited!)

Here’s what it the finished lunchbox creation looks like:

Thanks for your support!

Today we had a wonderful adventure picking out the perfect Christmas tree. The thing is, nothing ever goes as planned – especially when there’s a toddler involved. I wanted pictures, the tot was running amuck, and the husband was focused on finding the ultimate tree.

Doing holiday stuff with a toddler can be challenging at times.

But, after we had a little chat about how running in the tree farm is a no-no, trying to pick up the mini trees isn’t a good idea, and holding hands is actually fun, we finally found a pretty-near-perfect tree.

During all this I was crazily attempting to get a few pictures of the unfolding events. My parents did a great job of taking pictures for us to look back on and I wanted to do the same for my daughter.

Once we got home and finished putting the (unbreakable) ornaments on the tree, I had a brief moment to look at the pictures I had snapped. They were fun and cute, but what to do with them? I could pop them up on Facebook or share a few on Twitter….

Bah.

I was recently introduced to LiveOn.com, and let me tell you – they kinda rock.

keep on reading…

Yeah, most kids love dressing up and enjoying the festivities of Halloween. But, our tot? Nope. She’s not into wearing costumes, won’t let us do anything to her hair or face, and doesn’t like hats or crowns or anything.

We thought she might be ready for it this year…

Between potty training and no more naps, our tot is a wreck.

We are too.

So instead of attempting to shove her into a costume she would just tear off, we got out the pumpkin, enjoyed scribbling, and then carved.

We also ate a ton of Halloween candy.

Happy trick-or-treating!

The other night the hubs got into bed after sneaking a peek at our slumbering daughter and pronounced her too big for a crib. I’ve known this for a while but haven’t wanted to say anything because I’m totally freaked about not having her in the crib. Sure, I’ve noticed her feet are almost touching the end of her crib when she’s all stretched out. Sure, I know she could crawl right out of the thing if she really wanted to. Sure, I know she’s growing (but I’m in total denial).

She’s getting too big for the crib.

Is it time for a big girl bed?

The idea sends chills through me – to the core. My evenings of  momentary respite from the chid flash before my eyes. I break into a cold sweat imagining having to sit in the room with the tot while she falls asleep ensuring she isn’t terrorizing the first floor of our house. Re-child proofing her room (and the rest of the rooms on the first floor) overwhelm me as I picture the bathroom door sneakily opened offering free access to all things child wants – like make-up and the toilet bowl brush….

She’s never going to stay in a big girl bed unless I strap her in.

(Really, I wouldn’t do that and in no way endorse any type of big kid bed that can either.)

Then, on top of all that, what type of  bed to go with? There’s so many to pick from, including:

The P’kolino Toddler Bed. This is super cute and slick, perfect for a crib mattress and the ability to transform into an adorable chair once your tot is too big for that crib mattress. And the price isn’t so bad, either. But, for us, we’re already busting out of that crib on all sides, so this one is out…

And then there’s this really pretty option from Stig Leander. I would love the house to come along with this super toddler bed – and for the price, it really should. A special mattress comes along with the purchase. The bed is uniquely designed to be a bit bigger than the average kid bed for room to play and lounge for those time your child wants to kick back and read Toddler Vogue.

And then there’s this option from KidKraft. Sure, it’s a bit plain, but this bed is all about safety and ease. It’s super low to the ground, allowing your tot the ability to feel comfortable getting in and out of her new bed and equipped with rails to stop her from rolling onto the floor during deep sleep (if she ever actually falls asleep…). You also can’t beat the price. Really.

There’s this option from Incredibeds. I’m not really sure what to say other than sure, it’s a cute idea, but could potentially turn into what toddler nightmares are made of…

There’s always IKEA. Their stuff is cheap, and sometimes a bit odd with unusual sizing and stuff, but, hey, there’s always IKEA. Here’s a simple option with a great price, but don’t forget, you’ve got to pick the mattress up from them, too.

So, what do you think? Which should we pick?

It seems the nights are getting shorter and shorter at my house instead of the opposite. Our lovely daughter has decided sleeping is for the cats and she would rather ramble for hours and hours like some crazed coffee drinker in an all night cafe than peacefully slumber. This means the hubs and I are both starting to slowly go insane.

Really.

Sure, we had the no-sleep thing when she was really young, but that was different. She was small and cute and sweet and fresh and new. Sure, she’s still cute, but she can talk now. She can say NO. She can say things like HELP ME, HEEEEAAAALP MEEEEEEE! after being tucked in tight for the night, which causes me to go crashing down the stairs in a split second imagining broken limbs and swallowed pennies.

Nope. She needs her blanket just right.

And now there’s the whining. And the repeating. Whining and repeating, repeating and whining.

No one is having a great time at my house right now. This makes me feel like a horrible parent and doesn’t encourage those lovey-dovey mommy and tot moments I know everyone else is having.

There’s no definite declaration for amounts of slumbering time for kids, but there are a few suggestions. KidsHealth finds most tots sleep around 10-12 hours a night. That’s just a crazy dreamy amount of time for my house. On a good night my daughter averages 8 hours of sleep.

Nope. She’s not napping all hours of the day. She’ll maybe doze for about 90 minutes in the afternoon.

Nope. We’re not keeping her up late or changing up her nighty-night routine. Every evening about 7:45 I trot her downstairs, read her a bedtime story, and tuck her in. The husband and I are lulled into a false reality that she’s snoring away, but usually by 8:30 we hear a little giggle. I ignore the noise and it progresses. Eventually she rolls out the big guns and I go down (I don’t make eye contact or conversation), tuck her back in, and walk away.

Maybe by 10 she’s asleep.

She’s awake by 6.

Let’s just say no one’s real cheery at our house lately.

Maybe tonight she’ll sleep.

Maybe.

This week was all about potty training at our house. My parents had recently left after enjoying a wonderful visit and I figured it was as good as time as any to transition into a real attempt at potty training. She was already missing her grandparents, so potty training was the perfect diversion.

Or so I thought.

I purchased a potty seat several months ago and it’s spent time hanging out in both bathrooms, been pushed around the house, used as a step stool, and sat on, like, once. Total.

Once.

And that experience involved a half-finished and quite messy number 2 incident.

I’ll spare you all the details.

So, with lots of gusto, and some tasty treats in my back pocket, I started out strong on Wednesday with hitting the potty every half hour or so. This meant I had to sit on the potty with the tot every half an hour or so.

That’s a lot of sitting on the potty.

At first she was totally into it and I was tossing out a small treat for at least just getting her bare tushie on that potty. With the motivation of more than one treat if anything actually happened while sitting on that potty, she was doing okay – but no success.

Half way through the day I recognized the signs. The moving off to a quiet spot, the change in facial expression, the concentration….

I grabbed her as fast as I could and whipped off her diaper placing her already-somewhat-soiled-bum on that seat.

She SCREAMED.

She sat there and was totally freaked out about what was happening. Yeah, she was checking the whole thing out and she wasn’t super psyched about the process of elimination.

After we were both cleaned up, I offered tons of positive praise along with a big handful of treats.

She was still not happy.

When we went near that potty later in the day she screamed NO and proceeded to run from me and slam the bathroom door.

“NO potty, NO!”

As she sat crying and kicking and fist pumping the floor (total tantrum mode) I figured we could take a break for the rest of the day.

Wondering how the rest of the week went?

Pretty much the same.

I was amazed to hear some mamas chatting the other day about how their kids are heading back to school in just a few weeks. What? Didn’t summer just start? The tot and I are planning on attending preschool in a month or so – her to have a fabulous time interacting with other two-year-olds, and me to squish and squash clay with all her wonderful friends. But, lurking in the corner is our ornery friend – separation anxiety. I’ve seen the beast up-close when the first weeks of school roll around and those kiddies sure aren’t excited about heading back to the classroom after that lovely long stretch of time at home with the family.

Not fun.

I wrote this article for Funderstanding awhile ago with some of my insights and ideas for easing those separation anxiety woes and figured it could use a good sprucing. Separation anxiety is a real challenge for kids and adults, but with persistence and patience, everyone can work through the tricky patch.

Separation Anxiety

Just when you thought it was safe to go back to school, your child decides differently. Upon arrival, he screams, wails, clutches your clothes with a grip of steel, and refuses to be dropped-off. Many parents dread returning to school after the long summer break knowing full well they will be dealing with child separation anxiety issues.

Along with understanding what separation anxiety is, there are several simple ways to save the morning from separation anxiety meltdowns and ensure you and your child both have a wonderful day.

What is Separation Anxiety?

Separation anxiety is a healthy and normal way children express attachment. Babies often begin showing signs of separation anxiety around 4-7 months as they develop a sense of object permanence and understanding that items still exist when they leave the room. Children may show no sign of separation anxiety or difficulty playing or staying with others until hitting the preschool scene, and the permanence of the transition takes hold. And, the true understanding that mom or dad really leave the room for longer than a couple of minutes.

As children get older, their understanding of being “left” heightens and separation anxiety can become an ongoing frustration for parents and children. About 4% – 5% of kids suffer from separation anxiety disorder with a heightened sense of anxiety along with repeated refusal of attending daycare or school, concern of being kidnapped or lost, and difficulties sleeping. Luckily, most parents dealing with child separation anxiety issues are dealing with mild cases. But, even a mild case of separation anxiety can be a challenging situation.

Separation anxiety usually runs its course and children begin feeling comfortable and confident about transitioning to a school or daycare within a couple of weeks. The highest peaks for separation anxiety is often seen in children from 6 months until they are able to fully communicate but then can become an issue during later transitions, such as starting kindergarten, moving to a new home, or a family transition.

Dealing with Child Separation Anxiety

Instead of pulling that resistant child out of daycare or losing sleep thinking of solutions to elementary school drop-off, there are simple ways for dealing with child separation anxiety. Understanding that you aren’t the only parent dealing with these issues and realizing that others are ready and willing to help is the first step. Discussing separation anxiety issues with the child’s caregivers and teachers gets everyone on board for finding a solution to easing a child’s anxiety issues.

Along with sharing separation anxiety concerns with your school, there are several tricks that may help your anxious child. All children develop and behave differently, so understanding that there is no sure fix, or overnight solution for separation anxiety, is really important.

-Stay calm. This can be challenging while listening to your child whine and scream during drop-off, but understand that, as an adult, your consistency and calm will help the situation. Give your child a kiss and hug and quickly depart. Keeping your school information up to date ensures caregivers will be able to contact you if your child doesn’t eventually ease into his day. And, trust that they will contact you. Avoid calling every 5-minutes to double-check the screaming has stopped. Not only are you being overly concerned, you are taking caregivers away from what they should be doing – spending time with your child.

-Get your child to help. Ask the child what would help make drop-off easier and see what he suggests. You might be amazed when your child says that if he were able to wear his favorite outfit or bring a special item with him that it would help make things better. Double check with teachers to make sure this special item is acceptable and welcome at school, along with cueing them in with what is happening. Inviting your child to help solve the problem gives him ownership over the situation, helping to encourage positive decision-making and boosting self-esteem.

-Create a special parent-child good-bye moment. Some children benefit from having a special moment or routine that they fulfill each morning before drop off. That could be a quick handshake or a silly song – but something that is done between parent and child before every drop off.  Accomplishing the routine creates security for the child and eases anxiety. When creating your special drop-off moment, make sure it is something that can realistically be accomplished each morning, and stick with the routine until the child has worked through separation anxiety issues.

-Pack some bubbles for the blues. Place a small container of bubbles in your child’s backpack and when his anxiety begins, encourage him to blow some bubbles. Not only does breathing (and blowing bubbles) help regulate stress and ease tension, it is a distraction from the issue at hand. He might even attract a couple of friends that want to blow bubbles, too, helping him move and transition into the school.

-Offer a reward. Bribery doesn’t hurt the situation, and most children understand that good behavior will reap benefits. Discuss rewards and expectations for the child before heading to school and when they are accomplished, provide the reward upon pick-up. This way, when he walks into the school with a brave face and gets through the day successfully, he has something exciting to look forward to.

-Have a cup of tea. Create a special time with your child to sit and have a cup of tea. Chamomile tea is safe for children and also has wonderful stress-soothing qualities. Along with sipping some warm tea, you can engage in conversation, allowing your child to comfortably express himself and talk about his worries and concerns. Talking things out always makes everyone feel better.

-Soothe with some lavender love. Giving your child a soothing lavender bath at night helps calm the nerves and relieves tension. It also helps set your child up for a good night’s sleep, so they are fresh and ready for a new day, potentially easing separation anxiety. Also, a nice long soak offers the opportunity for conversation, encouraging your child to talk about what scares him about drop off. Make sure to lend a positive listening ear along with lots of love and support. Lavender based lotions applied in the morning are also an option, giving him a chance to catch a soothing whiff throughout the day.

When Nothing Seems to Work

After seeming to try everything and the separation anxiety hasn’t waned, everyone might be ready for something different. It may be time to take a look at other potential issues that could be causing the child to have difficulty transitioning to school.

-Set up a conference with caregivers or teachers to learn more about the child’s day and if there is a conflict with another child or other issues within the school. Also, consider if there have been any changes at home that could be affecting the child’s transition to school, such as a big move, parental difficulties, or the addition of a new baby brother or sister.

-If a child is loosing sleep, repeatedly showing stress over being left, and is also showing other symptoms such as stomach and digestive issues, it might be time to make an appointment with your pediatrician.

-Take a look at how you are dealing with the separation anxiety. Children respond to their loved-one’s behavior, so setting a good example is imperative. Take care of yourself by getting a good night’s sleep, staying fit, and talking about your concerns with others.

Separation anxiety is a normal stage of child development, and no matter how bad things may seem now – this too shall pass.

This week was not a great week. I was glad to see it end so a new week could come over and take its place. Let’s just say I haven’t been the extra-specialist person to be around for the last couple of days, and had been pretty busy at my own pity-party, eating and drowning my sorrows in alcohol. So, this afternoon when the hubs suggested a walk into town for some gelato, I couldn’t say no. And it just so happened some super-happy people were hanging out in the park listening to a local band.

I couldn’t help but smile.

So, bring it new week. I’m ready for you.

Well, our dishwasher is not happy. It came with the house, in fact, it was the only appliance in the place. We bought a foreclosure in Northern California, so we’re lucky there weren’t holes in the walls and such. When searching out rock-bottom-prices in the Bay Area, you see some pretty craptastic houses. When the one came along, we learned to adjust our first-time-home-buyer-dreams for reality.

After living in the house for about two years we are finally figuring a few things out. The dishwasher has never really been right. It makes lots and lots of noise, was installed incorrectly, leaked the first couple of times we used it – and the bottom spinny thing doesn’t spin properly.

And, the other day, during all its noise and lack-of-proper spinning, the spinny thing got stuck. Let me set the scene: the baby is serenely napping, I’m happily doing my work and enjoying a nice quiet afternoon (well, not really because the child was actually NOT napping and in her crib singing the theme song from Caillou really loud and the dishwasher was making this horrid CLUNK CLUNK BUZZZZZZZZZZ kinda noise) when an interesting smell wafted towards my delicate nose.

ICK.

I ran around the house in a panic searching out the smell. Was our house going to burn down? Should I call someone? Was there a wire burning somewhere inside the walls?

And then I knew. I knew it HAD to be that dishwasher.

I opened the door mid-cycle, all the water gushed out, and there was the smelly culprit.

The spinny thing.

It was caught on the heating coil and melting.

Awesomeness.

So, this lovely Saturday morning, we are heading off to do one of my most dreaded things. Shopping with sales persons that make their livings off commissions.

Wish me luck.