It’s that time of year where everyone seems to be extra grumpy, drives like crap, and doesn’t want to spend money on anything. Yup, tax season. The happiest time of year, right?! It’s inevitable that I’ll spend a couple of nights up all hours worrying, dreading, concerning – you know, college fund, retirement, braces, property taxes…..

I’m the first to admit that it’s been a year full of money adventures, from paying for my own health insurance (no more work-y), surviving the first year of mortgage payments, emergency pet care/disaster, and general cash outputted for having a child. I’m feeling a bit money tired.

My money tree isn’t growing. Its growth spurt is over and now it is just sitting in the corner doing not much of anything.

I need to get that tree sprouting happy leaves and shooting new branches. I need to get that tree reaching for the sky and photosynthesizing like crazy.

Let’s be honest. I have no clue when it comes to money matters. In fact (gasp) I don’t have a check book, don’t keep my receipts (unless I can write them off), and (double gasp) have a separate account from my husband – which I sometimes use to hide/save cash. It’s amazing that I’m not over-drafting like crazy with my cash card AND that I actually DO have some money stashed in my super-secret savings account.

But, back to my wonderful money tree. I need to maintain that tree to help make it grow, grow, GROW. I started a conversation over at Momster looking for some real-mom advice, and then came across some great help-my-money-tree-to-grow ideas from the Motherboard that not only provided some realistic money-saving tips, but also ways to save that I hadn’t even thought of!

Like that big-ol-pile of gift cards for stores I don’t really visit? I had no idea there was a site you could swap cards for ones you will really use! I also love the idea of getting outdoors once the weather warms up to walk or bike my errands – especially those near by! Not only will I save a bit of cash, but maybe help my jiggle-in-the-middle! Along with getting ready to ditch the driving, I’m going to start regularly checking my air pressure. I couldn’t believe that under-filled tires could set me back $300-$500 A YEAR! Hello, air pressure gauge – you are my new super-best friend!

Besides learning lots of helpful tips for saving some cash this year, I got out my calendar and added some inspirational notes to keep me on track and motivated to use extra cash to pay off debt instead of silly spending.

Okay, money tree, get growing!

While walking around the house the other day I noticed something unfamiliar. I looked down. Was I pregnant and hadn’t realized it? Had my dryer shrunk my clothes again? Did I put on my husband’s jeans by mistake? Hmmmm. Because all that jiggle and wiggle couldn’t be MY fault.

I reluctantly got out the scale and did a quick weight check.

OUCH.

Yes, the holidays were about a month ago and I admit to not doing much of anything to offset all that eating, drinking and general merriment. But, I eat healthy-tasty-home-cooked-organic-if-I-can-get-it food. Not that unhealthy calorie-laden bad stuff. So, I shouldn’t have this much junk in the trunk taking place.

Well, yeah. I did overindulge here and there. Who doesn’t around the holidays? I’m not looking to be Gisele Bundchen or anything. But I’d love my tummy not to jiggle (when I walk) and my tushy not to have that dimply-thing going on – you know what I’m talking about.

On top of discovering the gelatinous muffin top around my middle, it’s seriously the worst time of year for hitting the neighborhood to sneak in a quick morning jog before the hubs heads to work or enjoy a long walk with the babe in the stroller. It’s pretty rainy and dreary. I’d much rather cuddle up on the couch with a movie, a jar of peanut butter, and a box of crackers (oops, did I say that?).

There’s no excuse. It’s time for a home gym – or some sort of work-out-in-the-home plan. But, how to do that? Especially on a budget, because I’m not going to buy any fancy equipment or anything. My parents had stayed in our guest room/office, which I had spruced up before their visit. There’s no reason why it can’t be a happy, healthy workout space, too!

I enjoy doing yoga and Pilates, so invested in a nice mat and got out the big bouncy exercise ball that had been hiding in the garage. I found an article by my friends over at the Motherboard with some great home-gym suggestions, such as picking up window treatments and some nice plants for your work out space. After I hung the curtains and potted the plants, I got ready to feel the burn.

Here’s the thing, I’m just starting out on this whole home gym thing and am not planning on adding much more to my yoga mat and exercise ball. But, if you are, take into consideration the amount of space and location of your workout spot. Positioning a treadmill in the room above kido doesn’t make naptime a great time to get in a run. Also, home gym equipment takes up space – and is heavy! So, check out the lowdown on how many square feet are adequate for different types of pieces!

For now, I’m enjoying some great yoga and Pilates and hoping that all that stretching, bending, and posing will magically burn the fat off the back of my legs – and obliterate that jiggle-around-my-middle.

We’ll see.

Well, as some of you know, one of our cats recently moved to the Los Gatos hills (really, her ashes are scattered there), leaving our wonderous wee cat, Shasta, behind. Shasta only knew Delilah. She came to us as a kitten from a calico mama and a ferril cat dad. She really took to my husband when we picked her out, which made me mad because she was supposed to be MY cat. But, we still showed up the next day to take her home, helping out a work-mate of mine who didn’t want another litter of strays in her backyard.

Shasta REALLY loved Delilah. Delilah didn’t want anything to do with Shasta. I ended up locking them in the bathroom and walking away one afternoon hoping they’d figure it out.

And, they did.

It’s not like they were inseparable, but they tolerated each other. And, on good days, they enjoyed sleeping on the bed together, bringing way too many mice into the various places we lived, and chasing things about – mainly each other.

When Delilah’s time came, it was hard enough on the hubs and I. But, seriously, the minute we walked in the house after putting Delilah down, the noise that came out of Shasta was the worst thing I think I’ve ever heard.

The worst

I cried so hard that night listening to her yeowling and yeowling while walking about the house.

Well, it’s been a couple of months now, and the husband (surprise!) is the one ready for another cat. I’m still a bit reluctant. You see, even though Shasta isn’t really a big people person, or a lap-cat, or a well-behaved-not-peeing-in-the-corner-when-pissed cat, she’s kinda my cat and I’m worried she’s going to tear another cat to pieces or feel we are trying to replace her.

Yesterday the husband made us stop and look at rescue kittens. I was totally against it. Then, I started understanding. Maybe this wasn’t such a bad idea (yeah, mom, I know you aren’t excited about this…).

I am not sure how many more days I can take coming home to a cat that hasn’t left the bed, a cat that isn’t eating, a cat that only visits us at night for a short amount of time to then lurks back to the bed to sleep. A cat that happily spent her days playing in the yard, bringing us snakes and defending our yard, which now stares at the walls.

Over the last few weeks, I have shut Shasta out of the house enduring her horrid meowing to be let back in, tossed about countless amounts of string, bottle caps, catnip toys and treats only to watch the child pick the neglected things up and play with them. I’ve offered new food, tasty cooked vitals, and even (gasp) milk.

Nothing.

Well, what would you do?!

The damn cat needs a new friend.

Anyone have advice for me?

The other day I wrote an educational article about meditation, memory and the young developing mind, which got me thinking about meditation in general. I totally admit to not buying into the whole “pondering” thing, but have never tried meditating myself. I just don’t really have the time to sit in a quiet corner to chant and ring a bell for a couple of hours.

Yes, as you can see, I’m totally uneducated.

I love yoga, have spent my wad on acupuncture (when trying to get pregnant), and eat pretty healthy. But, the whole chanting-breathing thing just doesn’t bring to mind relaxation, memory building, or weight-loss assistance. It makes me think of feeling silly and time that could have been spent baking cake.

I do love cake.

So, imagine my surprise when I found some pretty positive research linking meditation with building healthy memory. I don’t know about you, but the idea of not remembering things scares the bejesus out of me. I have a hard enough time getting through the grocery store without a list. I would hate to miss out on memories of my child growing up later in life.

I totally can’t remember half of the 90′s (ugh).

One study I stumbled across suggested that spending 12 minutes daily practicing Kirtan Kriya meditation aided in promoting healthy brain function and building memory development. 12 minutes daily. Maybe it’s time I got over my silliness and spent some time meditating.

I think I can do that, right?

After picking a meditation spot (I put a pillow in the bathroom – yes, the bathroom. It’s quiet and I can shut – and lock – the door), getting all comfy-cozy, and setting a nice chiming timer for 12 minutes, I started following the directions for the meditation pose. Yup, I felt pretty foolish at first, but then, I started getting into it. I tried chanting out loud, silently, and then quietly. And, before I knew it, I was feeling pretty good.

In fact, really darn good! Then the chimer chimed, and I set off on my day.

I’m already looking forward to meditating tomorrow…

*And, yes, that is me meditating (I took the pic while finishing my morning chant). My husband thinks I look like I should be in a Sudafed commercial.

During these days of Christmas, I remember a couple of years ago when we were waiting on our daughter to make her arrival. She’ll be two in January, and you know what that means. When’s the next one coming? Are you thinking about having more kids? How many years are you thinking between kids? Have you thought about having another one?

Yup. It’s the second child syndrome. No matter who you talk to, how well you know them, if they are someone standing in line with you in the grocery store – they ask. Are you thinking about having another one?

I finally freaked a bit about it when an elderly gentleman at the grocery store became utterly enamored with my daughter while waiting in line at the meat counter. You know how those old folks get, they want to waggle fingers at babies and oogle and google. I love it and always welcome interaction with strangers that want to chat with the babe – but then things get all messed up when the ADULT conversation starts.

How old is she?

Almost two.

Is there a little brother or sister on the way?

Hmmmmmm.

Well, I don’t really know you, and am not sure you want to know my whole pregnancy/birthing story so, sure, if you want I can totally go into detail about the three years it took to get pregnant with our daughter and my fear that it will be challenging for us to get knocked-up again and cause TOTAL un-imaginal heart ache when it doesn’t happen.

Happy?

And, no, I’m not pregnant.

I love our daughter so much and know that all you mommies and daddies out there understand what I’m saying. I can’t imagine what life would be like with another one.

But, I also totally understand that “if and when” that other little one potentially comes along that I couldn’t imagine life without him/her either.

Such a hard decision.

For now I’m going to soak up all the wonders my wee tot has to offer. This is a special time of year with Christmas and her birthday just about wrapped up in one.

When did you know it was “time” for second baby?

As kids, we spent most of our time playing and figuring things out. As adults, we spend most of our time paying bills and taking care of various things from family to business to just keeping it together. We forget that part of learning, even in adult life, is through playing and allowing our brains some fun free-time. Just like kids, adults benefit from play time, too.

The importance of play in early childhood benefits learning in areas such as visual, spatial, verbal, physical, emotional – pretty much all aspects of being a complete human being. I don’t know about you, but I have early memories of trying over and over to squeeze a round-shaped plastic thingy into a square-shaped hole (even though it wasn’t working, I was persistent). I also remember running and chasing boys on the playground and feeling good about how my body could get quickly from one place to another.

Play is fun. Playing encourages learning.

As a new parent, I want to offer my child every wonderful opportunity to get ahead and be the best she can be. Spending time playing and interacting with her is at the top of my to do list daily. Along with encouraging her crazy playing, having her interact with others while playing helps her developing personality and hopefully her ability to share (we’ll see about that….).

So, why shouldn’t I spend some time playing, too? I haven’t given up on learning – I’ve got some years to live, and new skills and knowledge might come in handy. But, why is it that adults seem to have forgotten how to play? Is it that we’re lazy or too busy with all our new gadgets to play with each other or our kids?

Play connects us with others, encourages healthy behaviors, helps us cooperate, helps pass the time in a fun way….

Play is fun. Playing encourages learning.

So, what are you waiting for? Put down the computer and go PLAY.

We love our partners, there wouldn’t be a new baby in our lives if we didn’t, and only so long the inevitable can be put off.  Plenty of time for recovery has taken place, the baby is starting to nap regularly and life is getting back to normal (if that’s possible).  It’s time to get busy. Yup, time to hit the sheets.

Ah, sex, the forbidden topic.  Sex is pretty much the last thing on your mind after having a baby.  The memories of the labor experience are still fresh in the mind and the idea of any other action in the nether region is a bit daunting.  Will it be painful?  Are things going to feel different?  Am I ready?

Here’s the thing, when you are ready you can still have a great sex life after having a baby, either after delivering vaginally or by c-section.  The most important thing is to jump back in the pool when YOU are ready.  If your partner was around for any part of the delivery, they got a big glimpse of what the birthing experience was like for you.  This should give them some understanding of how you need to heal, and (hopefully) have some understanding for your lack of enthusiasm.  If you had any tearing, or an episiotomy during birth, it needs to heal before partaking in any sexual activities.

I am going to be real honest.  My husband was there for the whole birth of our daughter and it was absolutely awesome to have him be such a large part of the experience.  He saw the pain, the blood, and the whole shebang.  I was absolutely amazed that he was ready to get back in action just a few weeks after our baby was born, but, he is a man after all.  I explained there was no way anyone was going anywhere near that area of my body, not now, not for a while, maybe not ever!

My hormones were raging, which is normal.  I was also still bleeding, which is normal.  My breasts hurt and were swollen from breastfeeding, which is normal.  And I was exhausted from lack of sleep, adjusting to breastfeeding every 2 hours, keeping a house clean, and just living in general.  Having a newborn is lots of work, and it can take its toll on other aspects of one’s life.  Sex was definitely not high on my list.  But, I knew it was for my husband.

After my 6-week check-up I was given the thumbs up and told to take it slow, use lots of lubrication, and make sure to have some fore-play.  It seemed so awkward hearing sex suggestions from my OGBYN, who just weeks ago brought my daughter in to the world.  She could read the trepidation all over my face and basically told me to just do it.  So I did.

It might hurt.  You aren’t going to probably be really into it, and there is a big chance you will have some bleeding afterwards.  But it is important to not forget that sex is a beautiful and wonderful thing.  Take the time to bring it back into your life.  It is important for you, your partner, and the continuation of your relationship.  Just because you have a new baby doesn’t mean you can’t get busy every once in a while.

Oh, and one last thought to leave you with.  Make sure to use birth control.  Unless you are ready to go down that path again.