The “second child” syndrome

© Sarah Lipoff, 2010

During these days of Christmas, I remember a couple of years ago when we were waiting on our daughter to make her arrival. She’ll be two in January, and you know what that means. When’s the next one coming? Are you thinking about having more kids? How many years are you thinking between kids? Have you thought about having another one?

Yup. It’s the second child syndrome. No matter who you talk to, how well you know them, if they are someone standing in line with you in the grocery store – they ask. Are you thinking about having another one?

I finally freaked a bit about it when an elderly gentleman at the grocery store became utterly enamored with my daughter while waiting in line at the meat counter. You know how those old folks get, they want to waggle fingers at babies and oogle and google. I love it and always welcome interaction with strangers that want to chat with the babe – but then things get all messed up when the ADULT conversation starts.

How old is she?

Almost two.

Is there a little brother or sister on the way?


Well, I don’t really know you, and am not sure you want to know my whole pregnancy/birthing story so, sure, if you want I can totally go into detail about the three years it took to get pregnant with our daughter and my fear that it will be challenging for us to get knocked-up again and cause TOTAL un-imaginal heart ache when it doesn’t happen.


And, no, I’m not pregnant.

I love our daughter so much and know that all you mommies and daddies out there understand what I’m saying. I can’t imagine what life would be like with another one.

But, I also totally understand that “if and when” that other little one potentially comes along that I couldn’t imagine life without him/her either.

Such a hard decision.

For now I’m going to soak up all the wonders my wee tot has to offer. This is a special time of year with Christmas and her birthday just about wrapped up in one.

When did you know it was “time” for second baby?

4 thoughts on “The “second child” syndrome

  1. I swear more people asked us when we were having a second than a first! We were just ready, and knew that we wanted our son to have a sibling. They’re 28 months apart. That works for us, but all you have is all you know, right?

  2. My son is the same age (will be 2 next week), and I, too, have been bombarded with questions about when the next one is coming. They were driving me nuts because I knew we *wanted* another one, but I wasn’t sure about my *ability* to conceive (and certainly not on any schedule!) Just this week I was able to announce that we’re expecting in July, and that is a much easier answer to this question! (In stead of just shrugging my shoulders.)

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